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How to Enjoy Intimacy in Marriage


Pst & Pst Mrs Damian Alamba

To be romantic in marriage is to be active and productive. Romance is to your marriage what the bullet is to the gun. one of the oil you need to service your marriage is romance. What is romance in relationship? Romance is not climbing on top of your spouse every second. It is those little things you do outside the bedroom to make your spouse feel good and long more for you. I like to call romance love-bait. It is everything you do to attract, overwhelm and sustain your spouse's love and passion for you. One good thing romance does in marriage is that it increases your bond with your spouse. It makes your spouse to long and desire more for you. It is sad to see some couple get married and just few years into the marriage everything becomes boring. When couples relegate romance into the background, they will look more or less like roommates inside the bedroom. Bro, you were romantic as a Single guy that's why sister accepted  to marry you in the first place. How come now that you are married when you are supposed to make your wife feel like a woman, you are forming Holy Gabriel, even in your bedroom.  When your spirituality has reached to the point that your wife can't touch or hug you any time she wants, you need emergency check up. Sister, you know how you used to make your hair every two weeks and wear irresistible clothes with good perfume when you were single just to look attractive, now that you are married, how come you are no longer bothered about your looks and body smell again? What happened to your emotions and feelings? I know where the problem is, some people have this wrong mindset and ideology that you need to be romantic to find marriage partner and once you are married, romance ends. I want you to understand that romance has no end. That you have given birth to five children is not a reason why you should look like your grandmother when you are young and hearty. If romance played a role to bring marriage, then romance will also be involved to sustain the marriage. How do you express romance? I will show you how to do that in this post. Now let's dive in.

1. Increase better communication with your spouse.

This jet age, you can send romantic and love text messages to your spouse at the click of a mouse or via Whatsapp, Facebook etc. If you don't make your spouse laugh everyday, you are not doing your job well as a romantic spouse. When you were single you used to chat and text this guy every day, now that you are married you need to increase the  tempo. When you were single, you used to call this lady every hour, now that you are married make it better. Marriage is not an examination hall where everybody minds his own business. You need to talk, gist, crack jokes and have Heart to heart talk with your spouse everyday. Talking easies boredom. Don't claim to be too busy, make time to talk with your spouse. I don't mean those talk like, Honey I need $1 Million dollars. Romantic talk is not time to discuss bills. There is time for everything. Talk romance. Who doesn't like to hear sweet words? Sweet words are free, don't be stingy with them.

2. Dress to seduce your spouse whenever you are in your bedroom.

 As a Christian man or woman you must dress decently any time you want to go out. Then when you are inside your bedroom with your spouse don't dress like a Reverend father or Reverend sister.  Your bedroom should be a love garden, not a crusade ground. Don't come into your bedroom always pretending as if you are under the anointing. Please keep the anointing in the parlor. In the church you are the Daddy G. O but inside your bedroom, you are her play boy.  Boss you know what I mean lol. Sister, I teach every Christian woman to be on fire for God but your bedroom doesn't need fire, it needs the love of God. Wear your lingerie, see - through, bum-short, if you want to be naked, it's your bedroom and the man before you is your husband. So go ahead and make his eyes long for more. Feed his eyes with your body shapes and curves. You know what I mean. You can't be tying wrapper around your chest like a village woman from morning to night and still ask why your husband doesn't like to spend time alone with you. Be romantic in your dressing. It's not a sin. Adam and his wife were naked and they were not ashamed.

3. When you want to kiss, kiss well. 

How to Enjoy Romance

kiss passionately with your entire being as if you won't kiss again tomorrow. Make your spouse desire for more  from you everyday. Let your tongues meet and allow your spouse to enjoy the sweetness of your lips. No one wants to die before his time, including your spouse. Please if you have mouth odour, do something about it very urgently if you want this kind of kissing I am talking about. Use mouth wash, Tom-Tom and brush at least three times every day. Kissing is sweet when the mouth, tongues and lips are clean with fresh air.

4. Learn to do some daily chores together like washing the dishes, cooking, watching movie, reading or even telling stories together. 

The more both of you do things together, the more romantic you will become. There are couples the only thing they do together is sex. That's too bad. Apart from sleeping together, bathing together, you can join your spouse in the kitchen, you can help to clean up the house, you can sit close to him while he is watching his favorite movie. The closer you get to each other, the sweeter your romance will become. When was the last time  your bodies clinged to each other without anything sexual involved.

5. Learn to pet your spouse.

How to Enjoy Romance
Photo credit : klala Photography 

 Women are easily moved by words. So a romantic man must be a master of words. Men like a woman who can go all the way for them. So find out what your husband likes and give it to him. When you want to see your wife in her true romantic self, pet her lavishly. There is a way you will pet a woman if it is possible, she will open her chest and bring out her heart and give to you. In the other hand, men like Praises. To pet a man is not to touch his head with your fingers. It is to shower him with Praise. Call him names that make him feel like a king, charming Prince and the Lord of the house. When you know how to praise a man, it will look as if you are using talisman to control him. Be romantic.

6. Be romantic in foreplay. 

Love making is not about putting your thing there and going your way. It requires that you give it time to make it a lifetime memory. Learn to play together. Don't lie down like a bunch of firewood. Be involved, play along with your spouse. Engage your entire being in the activity. Give your spouse some good touches. Pleasure your spouse and he/she will never give you pressure. Sex is not a national anthem where you stand attention like a monument. Sex is a bedroom mathematics. You have to do some plus and minus, your hands, legs, tongue, lips, mind and soul, feelings and emotions and virtually every part of your body must be put to work. You know what I mean. Take care of details. Don't be in a hurry, you are not rushing to catch a flight. Infact I suggest switching off your mobile phones any time you want to make love with your spouse. Did you hear the name I called it? It is love making, not just sex. A Married woman who knows how to make a pot of soup but doesn't know how to make love in the other room is disgracing womanhood. The same way you strive to know how to make soup in the kitchen, that's how you should strive to know how to make love in your bedroom. Thank God for the Internet, there are good Christian blogs like this blog you are reading now that can teach you everything you need to know. Ignorance is not an excuse. Get knowledge. Buy good Christian books on sex and Romance.

7. Let your gift make a way for you. 

Your gift can make a way for you through the heart of your spouse. No one rejects true love. No matter how little it is, a surprise gift for your spouse can make you look like the most romantic husband or wife to your spouse. You can spice things up with your gifts. Add a little romance to it. What I mean is this, buy your spouse a surprise gift, then write one romantic sentence on the gift and hide it where she will see it by herself. It's very funny but your spouse will appreciate it so much. That is what romance is all about.

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