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It is possible to enjoy peace and harmony in your marriage with your spouse every blessed day of your life. Marriage was created by God to be a blessing and not a curse. You can learn how to prevent domestic violence in marriage even if you are not a marriage counselor. Many people are going through tough times in their marriage. Some people are afraid to speak out due to their religious beliefs or fear of people's opinion, however this has resulted to death or more severe damages. In view of this, I will be sharing with you some practical steps and wisdom that will help you to Prevent domestic violence in your marriage . Now let's get started.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic Violence is an inordinate behavior or physical abuse of a married woman or man by his or her spouse. It ranges from throwing tantrums, insults, using abusive words, fighting, wife battering, breaking of useful properties in the home when provoked, stabbing with knife or other shape objects, beating with stick, belt or rod, pouring hot water or chemical, shooting or any act that can cause emotional, mental or physical injury or death of the victim. Domestic Violence is a sign that one is not yet mature or prepared for marriage. When couples are constantly fighting and disturbing the whole neighbors, it shows there's something they need to know about marriage which they don't know. Domestic Violence is not a good thing
It is the highest form of madness. There's no sane man who beats his wife. If you are a man who beats his wife, a goat is better than you. Do you know why? You cannot see a He-goat beating a she-goat. The only time you see He-goat chasing after the She-goat is when he wants to mate with her. If a goat doesn't beat his wife, any man who beats his wife for any reason is less than a goat.
A real man doesn't beat his wife. Men are made to protect a woman. The proof of manhood is not wife-battering. The proof that you are a man is your ability to protect and defend your wife no matter what happens. Now we are not saying that every woman is a Saint. Of course, we know that there are little girls with a woman's body. What makes you a woman are not those two apples on your chest or that thing under your skirt. The authentic proof of womanhood is feminity. You are not a wise woman if you disrespect and insult your husband any how you want. You are setting up yourself to be used as a punching bag when you literally challenge your husband to a fight. How to prevent Domestic Violence in Marriage as a godly wife is to be a submissive, humble, gentle, peaceful and faithful wife.
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What are the Causes of Domestic Violence
1. Incompatibility
When the couples are not compatible, it can lead to domestic violence. You cannot pour water to acid and expect them to stay calm. The bible says, two cannot walk together except they agreed. When couples hardly agree on anything, it means their chances of living together happily are minimum.
2. Temperament-
Some people are hot-tempered and easily provoked. When one is a cantankerous spouse, it can lead to domestic violence. It is dangerous to marry a hot tempered man or woman. They may kill you before you say Jack and later regret their action when their madness has left them. God said it is better to live on top of the roof than share the same room with a hot-tempered spouse.
3. Excessive Argument
Sometimes a hot argument can lead to domestic violence. When couples can argue over everything, they are setting up an atmosphere for domestic violence. Your home is not a Court room. Please don't win an argument and lose your marriage. How to prevent domestic violence in marriage is to avoid Unnecessary hot argument with your spouse.
4. Infidelity
No one likes an unfaithful spouse. If one spouse is cheating on the other, it can lead to domestic violence. But this can be avoided in marriage when couples know how to satisfy their spouse sexually. If you want to know how to satisfy your spouse sexually and make him or her want for more with you, reach out to me in the comment section and I will create an article for it.
5. Money
One of the major causes of domestic violence in marriage is money. Any family where the woman is the one bringing all the money from month to month and from year to year can never be in peace. quote me anywhere. I said so. Women love it when their husbands give them money to cook, buy clothes for them etc. Even if the woman makes her own money, she will feel loved when her husband gives her money. Please Dear men, don't allow your wife to become the permanent bread winner of the family. You may lose your respect in the home. She can support you with the little she has. A Godly wife can carry the financial responsibility of the family when the husband is not well to do and still submits and respects her husband completely. But this can't last forever. A man should never pray for his wife to be the one to feed him all his days on the earth. A man should work hard to earn money to provide for his household. Any man that cannot provide for his home is worse than an infidel. Domestic Violence can be averted. It begins by averting financial crises in the home. You know that slogan that says, what is causing problem between Ada's father and her mother is money to cook soup. Don't let that happen to you.
How to Prevent Domestic Violence in Marriage
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1. Marry Someone you are compatible with.
Your time as a single during your dating or courtship is not just to eat rice and chicken. It is for you to understudy your partner to see if both of you are compatible to go into marriage together. If your boyfriend beats you before marriage, run for your life. Else he will kill you after the marriage. Don't sit in your corner and say he will change. You are not the Holy Spirit. Besides people change, but not too fast.
2. Avoid Unnecessary Arguments
Some arguments are catalyst for domestic violence. Like I said, don't turn your home to be a Court room. Make it a love farm. When discussions gradually turn to argument, leave it there and change the topic. It's better to lose an argument and win your spouse.
3. As a husband love your wife
No man hates himself. Any man who beats himself is assumed to be a mad man. That's applicable to a man who beats his wife. You and your wife are one body. Beating your wife is tantamount to beating yourself. And that's madness. Protect your wife. Defend her. Take care of her. Don't turn your wife into a punching bag. When you are angry with her, please take a walk. Go out and play golf. Maybe when you return your anger would have left you. The best way to handle a nagging wife is to ignore her and keep silent. Don't shout back or retaliate to physical combat. Murder is expensive. You know the law, blood for blood. So save your head.
4. Wife submit to your husband
Don't marry any man you can't submit to. The way to a man's heart is to submit to the man. Respect is to a man what bullet is to a gun. If you respect your husband and submit completely to him, there will be no domestic violence. A man you don't respect will not love you. Beauty can attract your man, but only your character can keep him for you. Don't usurp authority with your husband. He is the head of the home. If you respect your Pastor or Boss in the office more than your husband, you are not a wise woman. If you can't disobey your pastor, why should you disobey your husband? If you don't exchange words with your Employer at the office, why should you do that to your husband? The problem is that many women don't know what marriage is. Marriage is not a child's play. You need knowledge and understanding to succeed in it.
5. Pray
There's nothing prayer cannot do. Sometimes a turbulent marriage today can get sweeter tomorrow through divine intervention provoked by prevailing prayers. Seek God in prayer and fasting concerning your marriage and your spouse. God knows how to help those who cannot help themselves.
6. Seek Counseling from Marriage Counselors and your Spiritual Leaders
Silence during domestic violence can lead to your death. Speak out. But be Wise about it. Don't make your marriage a public Headline. There's no perfect marriage on earth. Even your pastor that you want to see has his own challenge in his marriage. So don't talk to just anyone you see. You need to talk to those who can give you useful counseling and guidance. You need solution, not more trouble in your home. You need professional and Scriptural counsel, not sympathy from family and friends.
7. Dialogue with Your Spouse
If terrorists can be dialogued with, how much more someone you are living together with in the same room. The best way to avoid domestic violence is a sincere and open dialogue with your spouse. Come to the table. Don't hide your feelings. Tell him or her how you feel about him and the marriage. Ask reasonable questions to know why he is acting the way he does. Ask for possible solution for the good of the marriage. Discuss if both of you are willing to commit to work things out. If every dialogue fails to yield any positive result. Then I suggest,
8. Separation or Divorce
By Scriptures we understand that God hates divorce. But separation is better than funeral service. Instead of committing murder and being sentenced to death by hanging, please gently bring her back in one piece to her parents. Don't kill another man's daughter or son. Don't worry about what people will say. Please when the marriage has broken down irretrievably and has become life threatening, please leave in peace or you will rest in peace. Life has no duplicate. Don't save your marriage and lose your life in it. The other fellow will get himself a new wife or a new husband. I don't advocate for divorce but when it becomes necessary, wisdom is profitable for direction. Marriage is not by force. There's no marriage in heaven. If it's not working with Mr A, and you are very sure the problem is not from you, please take a break. God can give you a second chance.
What's your opinion on domestic violence? Was this post helpful? Please leave your comment below in the comment box.
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