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Every child is unique and different from other children. No two children have exactly the same behavior or character. Even two identical twins have unique and different fingerprints and invariably behave differently. Therefore, there is no fixed parenting style to use in training your child. Parenting Styles differ from one child to another. Moreover, variations in culture, nationality, gender, background and belief have made it impossible to have a universal parenting style. You need to study your child very well, get to know who your child is, then you can choose the parenting Styles that are suitable for him. In some countries and cultures, you can scold or beat a child but in developed countries like America, if you beat your child, you may go to jail. We can't use the 18th Century crude Parenting Styles to train the 21st Century children of today. It will never work. The era of putting pepper into the eye of a child as a punishment has gone. If you try such today, you will be arrested for child abuse. You don't need to beat your child with iron before he can behave like a human being. Today, I am going to show you some Successful Parenting Styles from a scriptural Perspective that will help you to train your children well. Please read every line carefully to the end. Now let's dive in.
1. Use Gentile Measure to Draw Your Child Close to You.
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One of the greatest Parenting Styles enshrined in the scriptures is the use of gentle measure to draw a child close to the parent. Some children hate to be scolded or shouted on. When you scold or shout on a child consistently, he will naturally become afraid of you and invariably avoid you like a snake.The best way to win the heart of a child is to use gentle measure to draw the child close to you. Children like a Parent who is kind, gentle and friendly. When you become your child's best friend, there is no secret that your child cannot tell you. This doesn't happen overnight. It happens when you as a parent makes time to be with your child. The more time you spend with your child on daily basis and play with him, the more your child will become used to you. And when your child has become your friend, he will do everything to make you happy. Who doesn't want his friend to be happy? Even little children can be good in friendship. When you offend your child and he tells you that you are not his friend again, you have really hurt him without knowing. Please apologize and pet him to maintain your friendship with him. That's the easiest way to get your child to obey you and do the things that you want him to do.
Hear what the Scripture says,
"... I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." Jer 31:3
2. Use Reward to Encourage Obedience in Children
One of the Parenting Styles I have found to be very useful and effective is the use of Rewards to encourage Obedience in your child. When your child does something very well and you want him to keep doing it, you can buy him a gift and tell him Why you bought the gift for him. It will motivate him to do more. Who doesn't like gifts? Everyone wants to be appreciated, recommended and gifted. If you have two or more kids in the house and you want to challenge the rest who are not doing well in their Studies or house chores to brace up, you can give a gift or reward to the best behaved among them. Always tell them the reason why you gave the gift to the other child, so that others who didn't get will know that the reason you didn't buy a gift for them is not because you love the other more than them but because of their negligence to their responsibility. In Hebrew 11:6, the scripture tells us that God Rewards His children who diligently seek Him. If our heavenly father uses Reward as one of His Parenting Styles, we too can. The gift of a man makes a way for him. Try this parenting style and thank me later.
3. Withhold the Child's Interest as a punishment for Correction
One of the Successful Parenting Styles enshrined in the scriptures is withholding the Child's Interest as a punishment for Correction. When the Bible says Spare the rod and spoil the child some people think it's talking about flogging or kaning a child. But that's not the whole truth. First we need to know what the rod is in our context. What is the rod of a child? It is his object of special interest. It is what the child likes most. For some children, their own rod could be football while for another child it may be watching television, playing game or even running around the house. When you spare his rod, you may spoil the child. Find out what the rod of your child is and withhold it sometimes as a punishment for Correction. You say Junior, you are not going to watch television in this house for one week until you finish your school assignment correctly. When you do this, you will see your child become more serious like never before.
4. Use Advice and verbal instructions
You can't expect your children to behave well without giving them any advice or verbal instructions. It is your duty as a parent to always advice your child and give him instructions on what to do and what not to do. But there is a good way to advise a child and there's always a bad way to advise a child. Don't give a child advice when the child is angry and crying. He will not remember anything you are telling him. Some parents are getting it wrong here. How can you be beating a child and at the same time advising him? It doesn't work that way. Don't advice a child when the child is over excited or emotionally unstable. Don't give your Child any advice when he is sick. The best time to advise your child is early in the morning when his brain is cool and well coordinated or in the night before sleep comes to his eyes, usually after night prayers. You should have time for family altar or morning devotions with your child, that's a good opportunity to give your Child good advice and instructions that he will love to listen and practice all the days of his life. Hear what the scripture says,
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. " Proverbs 22:6
5. Teach your child the Holy scriptures early
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Teaching your child the scripture is the best way to secure his future. The word of God has the ability to make a child wise and modify his behavior. Children that are trained in this manner, eventually grow up to become responsible, honest and obedient children. Nothing can postively influence the life of a child like the word of God. This is one of the Successful Parenting Styles the Bible Patriarchs have used in training their children. Watch this scriptures below:
"And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus." 2 Tim 3:15
Teach your children the scriptures. Depending on their age, you can get them bible story books or Christian Educational videos about David, Abraham, Joseph and Moses etc. Children like to watch such videos. It's better than "Tom and Jerry cartoon videos". Make your child to know the word of God early, he will never depart from it. It is the strongest spiritual foundation you can give your Child that can sustain him even when he grows up.
6. Handle the wishes and wants of your child very well.
There is a time to give a child biscuit when he asks for it and there is a time to back down. One of the Successful Parenting Styles that works in any generation is knowing when to grant the wishes and wants of a child and when to deny them. If your child asks you for something, you need to find out how important that thing is to the total wellbeing of the child. If it is something that will help the child to improve and become a better child, you have to grant it to the child. But if it is a trivial thing that the child just want to satisfy his childish curiosity, you can deny him that thing at that moment. This will foster discipline in the child. It will help your child to know that not everything is necessary and you can survive without some stuffs.
7. Show Your child love and care
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It is the duty of a Parent to show love and care to his child. Your child's basic needs must be provided if you want to train and raise a healthy and complete child. Your child needs to eat balanced diet at least three times every day. Nothing deforms the thinking and character of a child like hunger. Many children you see today picking pockets in the street started it out of hunger and starvation. It's the highest level of irresponsibility on the part of a parent to be found pricing new shoes and clothes in the market when his children do not have food at home to eat. Sometimes I wonder the kind of food our children are eating at home. Don't feed your child with junk and still query while he is suffering from obesity. Let your child eat a balanced diet. Be very careful about the kind of food your children eat, who cooks it and where it is cooked. It's very important. Your child needs to look good at all times. It passes a good message both to your child and the neighbors around. A king's child does not wear rags. Buy good clothes and shoes for your children. Make sure their hair is looking neat at all times. Your children are a gift from God to your life. God didn't force them on you, you asked for them when you had sexual intercourse with your spouse. So take care of their needs. That's one parenting style you will live to appreciate when you begin to see the result of your investments on your children's up keep.
8. Give Your Child Quality Education
Education is the right of every child. A child who is properly educated will be a blessing to his family and humanity. Don't send your child to hawk grandnut in the street when his mates are in the school. There is time for everything. Before you conclude that education is expensive, please calculate the price of Ignorance. One of the reasons for poverty and frustration in many families today is lack of quality education of their children. If you want to invest for the now, grow crops, build houses and buy cars for yourself. But if you want to invest for the future, give your children quality education. It may be painful at the moment, but it will be gainful tomorrow. Won't you be happy if your child grows up to become a medical doctor, a lawyer, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Scientist or the President of your country? If you have such big dreams for your children, then quality education is the way to go.
9. Use Positive Words on your Child
There are some Parents that call their children negative words and wonder why they behave the way they do. When you call your child an idiot, you have invariably authorized him to behave that way. As a parent you must know there is power in the spoken word. Every spoken word carries within it a spirit to enforce the word. Speak and use positive words on your child. Bless your children and don't curse them with your words. Call them good names according to what you expect them to become. As a parent you are the number Prophet of your children. Anything you call your child is what he is going to become. If you call your child a goat when you are going out in the morning, when you come back in the evening, you are going to see that child behaving like a goat. Make no mistakes about it, confession leads to possession. Stop calling your child bad names and stop using negative words on your children. One of the Successful Parenting Styles that works like magic is using positive speaking on your child.
10. Train your Child on the Use of Money
You don't need to hire someone to teach your child about how to use money. You can do it by yourself. Make your child to understand that money is meant for investing and not for spending. Make your child to see and know the value of money. Teach your child how to make money, save money, invest money and multiply money. It is an ageless parenting style that will mould your child into a financed giant tomorrow. Children who know how to use money invariably grow up to become wealthy and successful people.
11. Manage the Activities of your Child
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A child left to himself will spoil himself and others as well. You need to monitor and control the activities of your children. Find out and know who are the friends of your child and what they are doing. Find out and know who your child is going out with. If they are not the kind of people your child should be associating with, call your child to order. Don't just buy a mobile phone or laptop for your child and leave everything for him. Monitor what your child is doing with his mobile phone and laptops. Put in security measures in your children's laptops and smartphones so they wouldn't see what they are not supposed to see. If you can manage the activities of your child very well, you can minimize their excesses to the bearest minimum.
12. Set Rules and Laws that guide the home
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One of the successful parenting Styles you need to know is setting Rules and Laws that guide your home and make your child to be fully aware of them. For instance, you can make it as a law that no one goes outside in the night from specific hours. You can make it as a law that no one does certain things. It can become a law that no one steals or fights in your home. Anyone who breaks those rules will have you to contend with. A home where there is no law is a free zone and anyone can do whatever he likes. You must make your child to understand that your house belongs to you and your wife and as long as he is still living under your roof, he is under obligation to obey your laws or go out and build his own house. When a child understand it this way, he will advise himself to behave well.
Conclusion
We cannot exhaust Successful Parenting Styles in just one page. I believe you have learned something from this post. If you have any questions regarding any of the parenting Styles we discussed in this article, reach out to me in the comment box below. May God give you the wisdom and capacity to nurture and train your children in a way that will bring glory to God and joy to your generation. Your children will make you proud. God bless you.
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